FIFA 14 Review

Never has such a beautiful sport had such a shitty game for it.

Ok wait, perhaps that statement was a bit too harsh but truth be told, FIFA 14 is nowhere near as good as FIFA should be.

Everything good with FIFA 14 was copypasted over from FIFA 13. Prior to release, EA showed off some trailers to highlight what's new with FIFA 14. The impact those changes have made are similar to the realistic fish mechanics introduced in COD: Ghosts.

Screw the Premier League, I wanna be a flop in Madrid!

One notable change in the latest FIFA is that players now move more realistically like how all FIFAs have not done before. But in all seriousness, unlike football, the ball just doesn't stick at the players feet anymore. The amount of precision and accuracy the game demands each player behind the controller to have is ludicrous.

You will have tons of missed passes.
You will lose the ball relentlessly when no one pressures you.
You will wonder if you're using school kids to play FIFA that just look like Messi.

In fact, why is Messi's face still on the box art?

The latest FIFA 14 features senior citizens as well

There's a fine line between fun and realism and this is where EA just doesn't get it... or care to get it. Speaking about EA, it seems now that their game making policy has been moved over to their sports titles as well.

The only real noticeable change outside of the new horrendous movement system now is that they place empty bottles on the poles when you play that dribbling skill game. Everything that has been introduced in FIFA 14 is just purely and undeniably superficial.

Europe's Scummiest Team

Outside of that, the graphics have taken dropped in standards since I last checked. If not almost the same, players now look jaggy and unnatural with this plastic like body. Facial expressions are mostly absent and players just open their black hole resembling mouths as big as they can to express their sorrow when they miss a clear chance.

To add insult to injury, the entire animation team should be lined up in Guantanamo Bay and shot. TWICE! The celebrations look pitiful to say the least. Players phase through one another and run around in circles after scoring and even then, framerate is off by a thousand.

If you own FIFA 13 and you're planning to buy FIFA 14, your team should be relegated.

IRON